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Lust vs. Respect

March 28, 2012

Confession: I wanted to see Jane naked.

Yeah, I said it.

For those that follow me on Twitter, it’s not a big secret who Jane is.  It seems like the more we try to make it low-key, the more public it gets.  For those that don’t know, well…  You can always do your research.

Always remember: Google is your friend...

Now where was I?  Oh, yeah.  I wanted to see Jane naked.  I actually once asked though, without actually asking.  It was during the nighttime hours; I was hanging with the League (good group of gentlemen) discussing sports (specifically Chad Johnson being overrated) and Las Vegas over at Chelsea Pub, while having a late night conversation with Jane on Twitter.

As we were talking, I had requested another picture of her face, and she obliged.  Pressing my luck, I asked for a picture, preferably one “below the neck, but above the waist.”

She responded by saying she was appalled and “laughing her ass off.”  Yet she delivered the picture.  It wasn’t what I expected and I was disappointed, but in my persecution, I didn’t specify whether or not clothes were required to be on.

Even stranger, I was…turned on?  That ain’t it…

I wound up liking her even more for her gall, and what I thought was a commendable smart-ass response.  It showed me that she wasn’t gonna display the goods for just anyone, even if she did have a huge crush on me.

Fast forward to now: lots of teasing (with words).  Plenty of driving to the location of the city, but not really stopping there.  Getting there, but not really going inside.  One of us will say something, someone would start to respond, but never really finish the sentence.  Definitely a lot to leave to the imagination.  She wants to remain a lady in public, I refuse to give in (despite falling in more traps than Elmer Fudd), which makes a kind of an interesting dynamic.  It’s a competition and neither of us wants to give in.

Like most stories during my early-20s, it takes place on the Internet, namely Instagram.  Like most stories this past year, it took place on Twitter: this picture showed up on my timeline, leading me to understand why people like this Instagram contraption.

Which led to this response.  Of course, I was onto other things at that moment (namely, watching The Other Guys), and our prior conversation was how Jane’s best friend had casually discussed my near death with her.  So to jump from my near death to milk storage units while watching The Other Guys threw me for a loop.  Which led to this Tweet.

She explained that she wouldn’t mind being oogled, but that she wanted something deep.  I don’t blame her.  I want to have a relationship where my smart-ass remarks and weird comments are met with more than a “What?!” or a “Shut Up!” (however, “LOL”, “LMAO” and, y’know, actual laughing, are acceptable).  With that in mind, I’d like to give a shout-out to @BlackBrittany, who proceeded to ether the shit out of me after this comment.  I also tend to like my conversations a little less awkward, as I tend to talk 30% of the time, while listening the other 70%.

At the same time, I follow (one too many) models on Twitter, solely for eye candy presence.  There are exceptions, of course (shout-out to @satin_chocolate), but the majority of them are there for oogling purposes.  A few of them are about to get cut from that shit, but I digress…

I wanted to see her naked, or at least (or at most, depending on whose point of view you’re looking at) “face down ass up” in some lingerie, but I had my qualms as she (in her words) tries to be a lady.  I understand this, and totally respect this.  However, it doesn’t stop me from having thoughts I’d rather not talk about in this post.  She agreed with me, saying that I can “respect her lady-like ways while doing/thinking naughty/fun/naughty things.”

Of course, with women, there seems to be the predicament they face of whether they would rather be “slept with” or “slept on” (shout out goes to Testorshia, who in return, got it from somebody else).  By “slept on”, it is meant that women who may not have been around the block get respect, but don’t necessarily get approached.  By “slept with”, it is meant that…wait, does this really need explaining?

Okay, imagine ALL of the things you would like to do to her...

It’s a dilemma that most womenfolk face once menfolk become an integral part of conversations regarding their peers.  It’s now a competition; both genders vie for the other and do anything to get a leg up.

It’s also something that invades [insert social networking site here]; you’ll see avatars of women revealing a little more than necessary.  Not helping is the fact that a numerous amount of men follow these women, while “liking” photos, complimenting photos, and a few other things that I may be missing.  Even to the point of complementing their avi, which is something I’ve done, so… *shrugs*

Don’t believe me?  There was one girl that was in my Philosophy class, that I thought was physically attractive.  We rapped conversed, I lent her my hoodie to keep warm (I don’t judge you), got her number and her Facebook (I work pretty thorough when I want to).  I cruise by her Facebook page to find that she was in a relationship.  Later on, I would find (not at all revealing) pictures posted on a damn-near-daily basis, sprinkled with posts lamenting a lack of love.  Now it’s just something I take with a grain of salt, especially considering the day before, she was asking who wanted to be her “Facebook Husband.”  Yep, you read that right, “Facebook Husband.”  Damn a real-life marriage and shit…

They wound up splitting up over accusations of the wife not being with the husband "shooting at the gym."

Meanwhile, some of the more cooler females that I’ve conversed with have, on average, 370 followers (41% more than me…), while the least clothed females have, on average, 4115 followers.  That’s an eight percent increase of followers, just by having less clothes.  Even if I were to unfollow them, there will be (at least) eight more people about to follow them.  The average female doesn’t stand a chance in such an environment.

It’s definitely something that makes you go “Whhhhaaaaaaaa?!”, while wondering what small box I live in with those kind of statistics.

Yet, this is what goes down on most social networking sites.  I’m not here to stand on a high horse and tell the menfolk who to follow, nor am I here to tell the womenfolk what to do with their bodies.  What y’all do with y’all spare time is your business.

I will say this, it’s definitely about keeping balance, which is hard on both parties.  As men, most of us tend to want to “hit it & quit it”/”smash & dash”/”beat it & leave it”…I can go all day with that…whereas most women are more into the emotional space and finding chemistry.  Most men leave most women they respect in the friend category, simply out of respect.  You try rekindling a friendship when someone else has feelings, and let me know how it turned out (preferably in the comments section).  Women…let them find a miniscule thing wrong, or let there not be any chemistry…

Pictured: A man who will NOT be getting any punani...

It’s the kind of thing that leads to frustration and disappointment.  As mentioned, as much respect as I have love for Jane, there are still thoughts that linger inside my head that I don’t reveal to the general public (for good reason, I might add).  It’s one of those things where both of us want to find that balance where we respect each other, but still have a lust for one another, no matter how far apart we may be.

I bet you’re ready to tell me, “Maybe you should ask Jane for more revealing pics, you stubborn motherfucker.”  To which I reply that I did.  It wasn’t a visible kind of revealing, but it revealed enough where I was turned on mentally and sexually.

Now I end this, but I have another confession to make: I really want to see Jane naked.

But what say you, do you think it’s better to be respected, or to be lusted after?

  1. Dude, word? Lol.

  2. Miss31flavas permalink

    hmm good post i too have discussed this topic on my twitter last night post. Its about balancin it all. Having that respect but still that want for each other that hot n ready lust. Keeps it fun.

  3. Jane is flattered 🙂 Among other things…

    I choose respect, every single time. It’s hard to pick, because it would be so easy to get that kind of fleeting attention, especially with Photoshop, but I’d like a man to see me as a human being first, then a woman (maybe his woman) instead of vice versa. I’d prefer if the two, desire and respect were in equal measure but…*shrugs*

    As I said though, a man can respect a woman and want her, it just seems like they don’t know how…

  4. That’s a complicated question right there…. I think I prefer to be lusted… because I think respect is a given… you won’t be in my life if you’re disrespectful, period.

    While on the other hand I’ve had male friends who were mad respectful who I wish had a lil lust for me, lol.

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