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March 25, 2012

I like to think I’m cute.

The reason why I say that is because growing up, the only people who gave me compliments about my looks (read: how handsome I was) were older people.  Of course, you take those compliments with a grain of salt, considering that: a.) they were older, b.) a parent was usually nearby and c.) they are well-versed in the art of behaving within society (read: they don’t insult a child with a parent around).  Again, not the kind of people whose compliments you take seriously.

Of course, more times than not, I have been called ugly.  Primarily by dudes, but a good number of girls have called me ugly.  Ironically, a majority of these girls weren’t exactly the type of people that were turning heads, so if that wasn’t the pot calling the kettle black…but I digress…

Of course, most girls that I like that do think I’m cute never tell me this straight up, if at all.  It’s usually through a friend (you know, where someone will point at their friend, and be like “He/She likes you!”), and I take that with bags of salt (to the point where it gets annoying as shit…).  Of course, as I’ve said before, I stay inside my head or my headphones most of the time.  So I’m not exactly the most approachable person in the world, despite getting approached for help and random conversation.

So, it comes as a surprise when there actually are women I’m interested in that actually think I’m cute.  Me being cute is something I joke around with, despite thinking I am.  I just never talk about it, simply because I’m not the type of person that brings up that type of stuff.

Not helping is when people decided to break you down without your permission.  I’ve had (multitudes of) people tell me I should get contacts, I’ve been told to fix my crooked teeth and [insert various hair issues here].  One woman told me that all in one conversation.

Yet, I’ve never felt compelled to really do too much that doesn’t involve a haircut and/or shaving.  My eyes are too narrows and my eyes are too bad for contacts, and no one’s fingers are touching my eyes.  My crooked teeth are self-imposed, and I’ve done enough, but I dig them.  They could be a whole lot worse.  Yet, however awkward, I still feel comfortable in my own skin, despite my hangups.

Which brings me to a conversation I had with a certain someone the night before; she sent me a picture with her hair done (in a record-breaking three hours).  I told her I liked her hairstyle and preferred that one, which turned a compliment into an uncomfortable conversation, mainly because I knew she would have her hangups.

Then, she went into work the next day.  Everybody complimented her on her hairstyle, in a way that she felt made her think that she wasn’t cute.  Which she is.

Anyone who says any different, has been warned...

She said that she wouldn’t fault me for having a preference, until the compliments started coming in, where she felt that the preferences were contrary to who she was.  Then she proceeded to tell me she worried, because I could be pulling in cuter girls.  The thing is, most cuter girls and I don’t have the same stuff in common.  And the ones that are?  You can bet your ass they’re on lock.

I like her.  She likes me.  We find each other to be cuter than we think we are.  We also have things that we like and can agree on, as well as things that we don’t like and disagree on.  I don’t know about you, but if me and my girl agreed on everything, it could be kind of dull.

Thing is, I didn’t fall for her just because of her looks.  There are a whole lot of things that make her just as attractive.  I know she recognizes this…

hope she recognizes this…

I guess that it’s to say that the looks don’t completely make the person.  A person can look good, but if they have the personality of a brick, there’s a good chance that people are not gonna be chilling with them for very long.  Which I think is why I think it’s a surprise when women find me cute; I focus on making people laugh, and digging my personality, that I often forget that I am cute.

I like to think I’m cute, but I like to think that I’m cool peoples…

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