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The Policy of Honesty

March 20, 2012

Recently (read: earlier today), a Tweet floated into my timeline.  The Tweet hit home, as it kinda got into the whole issue of not just Game, but life in general.

Earlier today, I received a text message with an attachment.  Problem was, I couldn’t download the attachment with a message saying “Message Expired or Not Available”.  Keep in mind that I received the message on March 20, 2012 and that the message doesn’t expire until March 27, 2012.  I notified the sender of said message that I was unable to receive it, so it was sent to me again with the same results.  Joking around, I Tweeted that I should lie if she asks if I received the message.

Of course, she already knew that I hadn’t received the message after she responded with an emoticon.  She also has my Tweets on text alert, so I was gonna look pretty stupid trying to lie my way out of a situation that really didn’t need lying in the first place.  The woman is not unintelligent.  Of course, I let her know directly that I didn’t receive her message.

It got me to thinking about how people always ask for honesty.  After all, there’s a quote that says “Honesty is the best policy”.  Trust is the number one ingredient in any healthy relationship.  If there’s no trust, there’s no relationship.  Simple, right?

Until that classic scene from A Few Good Men pops into my head.

Unfortunately, like Colonel Jessup screamed, most people can not handle the truth, no matter how insignificant it may be.  That doesn’t stop them from screaming “Be real with me!” or clamoring for someone to “Be honest”.

The truth is, most people only want to hear what they want to hear.  “Honesty” is just a cover-up, a mask for a facade that is being pursued.  It’s the classic  “Man-Versus-Woman-Do-You-Think-These-Pants-Make-Me-Look-Fat” conundrum: if you’re honest, you’ll find yourself sleeping on the couch (because you think she’s fat, which may be far from the case), but if you lie, then it’s a ping-pong game to try and get the right answer.

It’s not just limited to the male-female dynamic.  Look at any group of females; there’s always that one female you can’t say shit to, because she knows what the hell she’s doing, thank you very much.  All she wants to know is if you got her back when shit pops off.

Even in a circle of men, there’s one dude that’s quick to jump off the handle.  The whole world is conspiring against him at every chance he gets.  He’s gonna get his regardless of the consequences, and you either get down or lay down.

Let’s not beat around the bush: the truth hurts.  Like with most wounds, people handle it in different ways.  What matters is that at the end of the day, you are completely honest with yourself and everyone that matters.

I won’t sit here and tell you it’s not difficult; on plenty occasions as a child, I’ve lied simply because I was never thinking about the future.  I just wanted to chill, play video games and watch TV in the present.  I also worry about pissing off the people I care about the most, because I’ve learned that when you piss someone off, there are consequences that can be brutal.  Give it up to good old-fashioned ass-whoopings to teach you that lesson.  (That last sentence was sarcasm, by the way.)

Of course, there are also times when honesty is simply not the best policy, usually when you’re in trouble of some sort.  Like if a stranger (or a friend of the family) asks a child if their parents are home, or if the same person asks if you have money over-and-over again.  It’s during those times that you are required to use your head, and your best sense of judgement.

So what is the policy on honesty?

  • Be honest with those that give you the same amount of honesty.

There’s no use in trying to be honest with a person that refuses to be honest with you.  You’re just setting yourself up for failure.  On the other side of the coin, don’t jerk a person around if they’re being honest with you.  There are plenty of other people that are willing to play games, and you’ve now mentally and emotionally scarred a Human being.  Don’t kick the people who care about you the most.

If anything, have a small circle of people that you know you can trust, outside of family.  They’ll help you through even the darkest of hours, and will tell you what you need to know when you need to know it.

That’s all I got.  Anyone else have any thoughts on the policy to honesty?

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One Comment
  1. I have this openness about me where I feel that if I’m genuine and honest, the people I approach/step to/deal with will be honest as well and so I’m usually 97% honest (the 3% is reserved for when it comes to things I’m shy/closed off about). So if I find someone I have never lied to has lied to me, it changes the whole world that they and I have built up whether it be in friendship, relationship or familial.

    I was a liar for a long time, until I got lied to in a major way. It changes the way you look at the world and the way you view people. So to me, honesty can’t hurt as much as being lied to does. And therein is the answer.

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